Bark worth biting

We have miscellaneous snack basket in our kitchen, a jumble of foods of all ages and tastes. Earlier this week, I fished out an unidentified Ziploc baggy of pita chips—a near-fatal mistake.

The moment I opened the little plastic bag, a poignant garlicky odor erupted that would have stopped a vampire dead in his tracks. I consider myself warned. I also consider myself idiotic, because I started munching anyways. I could have been chewing on a clove of garlic. My roommate, sitting about 10 feet away, swiveled in her chair to look at me with a crinkled nose. I kept on. The garlic bombs were surprisingly tasty. My breath, however—deadly.

About 10 minutes after snacking, the garlic lingered. I searched for a piece of gum to no avail and then turned to other tactics. I nibbled on a piece of bread. Tasted like garlic bread. I tried Wheat Thins. Garlic Thins? I drank a glass of soda, no good. I drank a class of cranberry juice cocktail. Garlic and cranberries—definitely no good. I chomped on some nerds, a tootsie roll pop and other assorted Halloween leftovers. Taste o’ garlic remained. I ate an entire burrito for dinner, came home and brushed my teeth, twice. The garlic prevailed.

I might as well have chewed in a piece of bark.

No, really.

According to researchers at Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co., bark from Magnolia trees can wipe out bad breath by killing odor-causing bacteria. The article explains that most bad breath results from bacteria that break down proteins in our mouth.

In preliminary tests of nine Wrigley employees, the tree bark showed promising potential. Mints with the bark extract killed 61 percent of malodorous bacteria. Regular mints only kill about 3.6 percent of bacteria in that time. Gum with the bark extract also showed increased breath-fighting powers, killing 43 percent of bacteria in 40 minutes compared to the 18 percent kill rate of regular gum.

Despite these hopeful results, scientists said it will be a while before any Magnolia bark gums are commercially available. Fear not any fellow UF students. Magnolia trees are closer than you might think. Those tall, shady trees in the Plaza of the Americas—jackpot. And as an extra bonus, with all the organic-living, vegan-eating individuals that seem to conglomerate in this area, no one will even think twice if you break off some bark for an after-lunch palette cleanser.